Tagged. I'm it!

The last 3 things I purchased:

- Del Taco lunch for Aaron ... gross!

- An outfit for Miss Hailey

- A haircut .

The last 3 songs I downloaded: Honestly, don't remember. It's been that long! .

The last 3 places I visited:

- My parents

- Bear Lake

- Cabin w/ Oakesons .

My 3 favorite movies:

- Waiting for Guffman

- Soapdish or maybe Clueless?

- American Beauty What varied taste I apparently have! .

My 3 favorite possessions:

- Rental Props ... anything that brings in the $$$$ :)

- The 4-wheelers/Dirt Bikes ... now I just need some time to ride!

- iPod .

3 things I can't live without:

- My hubby!

- My Hailey!

- Exercise .

My 3 wishes:

- Happiness and health for my family

- Peace

- More endurance ... physical and spiritual .

3 things I haven't done yet:

- Visited somewhere they don't speak English

- Eaten sushi, seriously.

- Snowboarding .

My 3 favorite dishes:

- Any kind of fabulous baked something with chocolate in it

- Most of the "grilled cheese of the day" at Citrus Grill -- esp. Apple & Brie

- Buca salad with x-tra dressing .

3 celebs I'd want to hang out with:

- James Taylor

- Nicholas Cage

- David Sedaris, especially if he brought his sister Amy! .

3 things that freak me out:

- Of course, anything happening to my sweet husband & baby!

-Bad teeth

- Socialism .

3 things I'm good at:

- Trivia games

- Entertaining a 9 month old

- Apparently making some quality milk ... Have you seen the size of my kid!? .

3 things I'm currently coveting:

- My old body

- Babies who take really long naps

- A bigger place / Some great dirt to build on about 10 steps from this place. .

3 bloggers I tag

- Kellie

- Crumps

- Holly

30+ hours of agony for a lifetime of glory?

So it looks like I'll actually be DOING this ... not alone, of course, but with 11 other women who are apparently just as crazy and EXCITED as I am! So I'm up mapping runs for this week & stressing over my slow times from last week (as I came down with a gross cold!) & thinking about the reality of this race. So I check the website and see that there are teams that took 36 hours to run this last time. Probably teams of regular moms like ours! :) And I ask myself if 36 hours of agony (with some fun sprinkled in) is worth it? Worth what? What will I even get out of this? Then I realize that I'll be getting exactly what I need out of this. So some of you know that I have been in a real funk. The transition from driven, young, childless money-maker to mostly-stay-at-home-mommy has not been kind to me emotionally. I've felt "ruined" ... and not just the physical ruin that comes from birthing a 10 lb. baby! Physically you can -- contrary to my greatest fears -- come back from that. This idea of being "ruined" ... I don't know if that makes any sense to you mommies out there? Don't get me wrong. I am crazy in love with my little Lulu! That's not the issue here at all. The issue has been the huge shift from my former life, my former self to this strange new existence where Dear Husband and I are not first ... or even in the top 5 anymore. That plus the fact that I don't even really get to pee when I'd like to. I have a hard time enjoying the few things that are supposed to be just for me. There's always something more pressing now. Even our business has taken on a new urgency that has really been sucking the joy out of it. These are the things that I'm sure people try to tell you about, but you just aren't ready to understand before the bomb drops. So normally I'm able to just man up & get 'r done ... a quality for which I'm grateful to my Torgersen roots! But one night in particular I was having quite the pity party. Poor husband had to listen to my list of sorrows including: Not feeling I'm progressing/working toward something for ME, boredom with my workouts not working out (I work so hard & after 8 months I still have a few lbs to go!), feeling disconnected and lonely, need some mommy friends but nobody's in my boat b/c I'm such an old first-timer, blah blah blah. Anyhow, I was really feeling particularly crappy when the phone rings & Aaron says it's for me. It's a favorite neighbor friend asking me if I want to run in this RIDICULOUS race in the spring with yet another favorite neighbor friend. Before I can even think about all the reasons I shouldn't do this, a big "YES" comes out of my mouth & it feels GREAT! Here's where it gets embarrassing, but whatever! I hang up the phone so she can find 9 other crazies to make a full team and ... BIG TEARS. You see, if you reference my above list of new-mommy gripes, you'll see that this one event pretty much addressed all of my issues. I get to spend the better part of the next several months training and focusing on something that I LOVE, for ME. And I get to do it with people I love, in a neighborhood I love. And I'll get to achieve something that I didn't think I could ever do. Something that I could never do alone, but I would do anywhere, anytime with the support of 11 other tough chicks! So yeah, I know it's just a race. But for me it was evidence of a Heavenly Father who was aware of my struggle and loved me enough to address it in a most perfect way ... with a CHALLENGE! Now challenge part 2 which I gave to Aaron in no uncertain terms last week. "Hey! No knockin' me up until after June! I am not running this thing pregnant!"

"Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other." --Ed Howe

With the new arrival of B&B's sweet little Braden, I was astonished at how tiny and delicate he was. Hailey was never that small -- at least on the outside. But it got me to thinking about how Hailey will never be this small again ...

... which is wonderful ... and makes me painfully sad all at the same time.

.

But then again, I may never be as small again either which is almost as painful!