not alone, of course, but with 11 other women who are apparently just as crazy and EXCITED as I am!
So I'm up mapping runs for this week & stressing over my slow times from last week (as I came down with a gross cold!) & thinking about the reality of this race. So I check the website and see that there are teams that took 36 hours to run this last time. Probably teams of regular moms like ours! :) And I ask myself if 36 hours of agony (with some fun sprinkled in) is worth it? Worth what? What will I even get out of this? Then I realize that I'll be getting exactly what I need out of this.
So some of you know that I have been in a real funk. The transition from driven, young, childless money-maker to mostly-stay-at-home-mommy has not been kind to me emotionally. I've felt "ruined" ... and not just the physical ruin that comes from birthing a 10 lb. baby! Physically you can -- contrary to my greatest fears -- come back from that. This idea of being "ruined" ... I don't know if that makes any sense to you mommies out there? Don't get me wrong. I am crazy in love with my little Lulu! That's not the issue here at all. The issue has been the huge shift from my former life, my former self to this strange new existence where Dear Husband and I are not first ... or even in the top 5 anymore. That plus the fact that I don't even really get to pee when I'd like to. I have a hard time enjoying the few things that are supposed to be just for me. There's always something more pressing now. Even our business has taken on a new urgency that has really been sucking the joy out of it. These are the things that I'm sure people try to tell you about, but you just aren't ready to understand before the bomb drops.
So normally I'm able to just man up & get 'r done ... a quality for which I'm grateful to my Torgersen roots! But one night in particular I was having quite the pity party. Poor husband had to listen to my list of sorrows including: Not feeling I'm progressing/working toward something for ME, boredom with my workouts not working out (I work so hard & after 8 months I still have a few lbs to go!), feeling disconnected and lonely, need some mommy friends but nobody's in my boat b/c I'm such an old first-timer, blah blah blah.
Anyhow, I was really feeling particularly crappy when the phone rings & Aaron says it's for me. It's a favorite neighbor friend asking me if I want to run in this RIDICULOUS race in the spring with yet another favorite neighbor friend. Before I can even think about all the reasons I shouldn't do this, a big "YES" comes out of my mouth & it feels GREAT! Here's where it gets embarrassing, but whatever! I hang up the phone so she can find 9 other crazies to make a full team and ... BIG TEARS. You see, if you reference my above list of new-mommy gripes, you'll see that this one event pretty much addressed all of my issues. I get to spend the better part of the next several months training and focusing on something that I LOVE, for ME. And I get to do it with people I love, in a neighborhood I love. And I'll get to achieve something that I didn't think I could ever do. Something that I could never do alone, but I would do anywhere, anytime with the support of 11 other tough chicks! So yeah, I know it's just a race. But for me it was evidence of a Heavenly Father who was aware of my struggle and loved me enough to address it in a most perfect way ... with a CHALLENGE!
Now challenge part 2 which I gave to Aaron in no uncertain terms last week. "Hey! No knockin' me up until after June! I am not running this thing pregnant!"
July 22, 2008
30+ hours of agony for a lifetime of glory?
So it looks like I'll actually be DOING this ...
not alone, of course, but with 11 other women who are apparently just as crazy and EXCITED as I am!
So I'm up mapping runs for this week & stressing over my slow times from last week (as I came down with a gross cold!) & thinking about the reality of this race. So I check the website and see that there are teams that took 36 hours to run this last time. Probably teams of regular moms like ours! :) And I ask myself if 36 hours of agony (with some fun sprinkled in) is worth it? Worth what? What will I even get out of this? Then I realize that I'll be getting exactly what I need out of this.
So some of you know that I have been in a real funk. The transition from driven, young, childless money-maker to mostly-stay-at-home-mommy has not been kind to me emotionally. I've felt "ruined" ... and not just the physical ruin that comes from birthing a 10 lb. baby! Physically you can -- contrary to my greatest fears -- come back from that. This idea of being "ruined" ... I don't know if that makes any sense to you mommies out there? Don't get me wrong. I am crazy in love with my little Lulu! That's not the issue here at all. The issue has been the huge shift from my former life, my former self to this strange new existence where Dear Husband and I are not first ... or even in the top 5 anymore. That plus the fact that I don't even really get to pee when I'd like to. I have a hard time enjoying the few things that are supposed to be just for me. There's always something more pressing now. Even our business has taken on a new urgency that has really been sucking the joy out of it. These are the things that I'm sure people try to tell you about, but you just aren't ready to understand before the bomb drops.
So normally I'm able to just man up & get 'r done ... a quality for which I'm grateful to my Torgersen roots! But one night in particular I was having quite the pity party. Poor husband had to listen to my list of sorrows including: Not feeling I'm progressing/working toward something for ME, boredom with my workouts not working out (I work so hard & after 8 months I still have a few lbs to go!), feeling disconnected and lonely, need some mommy friends but nobody's in my boat b/c I'm such an old first-timer, blah blah blah.
Anyhow, I was really feeling particularly crappy when the phone rings & Aaron says it's for me. It's a favorite neighbor friend asking me if I want to run in this RIDICULOUS race in the spring with yet another favorite neighbor friend. Before I can even think about all the reasons I shouldn't do this, a big "YES" comes out of my mouth & it feels GREAT! Here's where it gets embarrassing, but whatever! I hang up the phone so she can find 9 other crazies to make a full team and ... BIG TEARS. You see, if you reference my above list of new-mommy gripes, you'll see that this one event pretty much addressed all of my issues. I get to spend the better part of the next several months training and focusing on something that I LOVE, for ME. And I get to do it with people I love, in a neighborhood I love. And I'll get to achieve something that I didn't think I could ever do. Something that I could never do alone, but I would do anywhere, anytime with the support of 11 other tough chicks! So yeah, I know it's just a race. But for me it was evidence of a Heavenly Father who was aware of my struggle and loved me enough to address it in a most perfect way ... with a CHALLENGE!
Now challenge part 2 which I gave to Aaron in no uncertain terms last week. "Hey! No knockin' me up until after June! I am not running this thing pregnant!"
not alone, of course, but with 11 other women who are apparently just as crazy and EXCITED as I am!
So I'm up mapping runs for this week & stressing over my slow times from last week (as I came down with a gross cold!) & thinking about the reality of this race. So I check the website and see that there are teams that took 36 hours to run this last time. Probably teams of regular moms like ours! :) And I ask myself if 36 hours of agony (with some fun sprinkled in) is worth it? Worth what? What will I even get out of this? Then I realize that I'll be getting exactly what I need out of this.
So some of you know that I have been in a real funk. The transition from driven, young, childless money-maker to mostly-stay-at-home-mommy has not been kind to me emotionally. I've felt "ruined" ... and not just the physical ruin that comes from birthing a 10 lb. baby! Physically you can -- contrary to my greatest fears -- come back from that. This idea of being "ruined" ... I don't know if that makes any sense to you mommies out there? Don't get me wrong. I am crazy in love with my little Lulu! That's not the issue here at all. The issue has been the huge shift from my former life, my former self to this strange new existence where Dear Husband and I are not first ... or even in the top 5 anymore. That plus the fact that I don't even really get to pee when I'd like to. I have a hard time enjoying the few things that are supposed to be just for me. There's always something more pressing now. Even our business has taken on a new urgency that has really been sucking the joy out of it. These are the things that I'm sure people try to tell you about, but you just aren't ready to understand before the bomb drops.
So normally I'm able to just man up & get 'r done ... a quality for which I'm grateful to my Torgersen roots! But one night in particular I was having quite the pity party. Poor husband had to listen to my list of sorrows including: Not feeling I'm progressing/working toward something for ME, boredom with my workouts not working out (I work so hard & after 8 months I still have a few lbs to go!), feeling disconnected and lonely, need some mommy friends but nobody's in my boat b/c I'm such an old first-timer, blah blah blah.
Anyhow, I was really feeling particularly crappy when the phone rings & Aaron says it's for me. It's a favorite neighbor friend asking me if I want to run in this RIDICULOUS race in the spring with yet another favorite neighbor friend. Before I can even think about all the reasons I shouldn't do this, a big "YES" comes out of my mouth & it feels GREAT! Here's where it gets embarrassing, but whatever! I hang up the phone so she can find 9 other crazies to make a full team and ... BIG TEARS. You see, if you reference my above list of new-mommy gripes, you'll see that this one event pretty much addressed all of my issues. I get to spend the better part of the next several months training and focusing on something that I LOVE, for ME. And I get to do it with people I love, in a neighborhood I love. And I'll get to achieve something that I didn't think I could ever do. Something that I could never do alone, but I would do anywhere, anytime with the support of 11 other tough chicks! So yeah, I know it's just a race. But for me it was evidence of a Heavenly Father who was aware of my struggle and loved me enough to address it in a most perfect way ... with a CHALLENGE!
Now challenge part 2 which I gave to Aaron in no uncertain terms last week. "Hey! No knockin' me up until after June! I am not running this thing pregnant!"
July 09, 2008
"Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other." --Ed Howe
With the new arrival of B&B's sweet little Braden, I was astonished at how tiny and delicate he was. Hailey was never that small -- at least on the outside. But it got me to thinking about how Hailey will never be this small again ...
... which is wonderful ... and makes me painfully sad all at the same time.
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But then again, I may never be as small again either which is almost as painful!
May 25, 2008
We're still here
Just wanted the friends & fam to know we're still here. It's just been a crazy few weeks. I realized that I have not slept more than 4 consecutive hours since September and it has been seriously impairing my ability to ... well, to do ANYTHING! It's been pretty much survival mode. So that has meant #1-Whatever Hailey needs #2-The Gym. Pathetic!
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Hailey seemed to be doing a lot better in the sleep department, and then it all just started falling apart. We are big "Babywise" fans and follow it well ... except the part about getting her to sleep on her own. The sound of her little cry is like a dagger in my heart! I was trying everything ... and I mean everything to get the results we desperately needed without causing her even the smallest amount of frustration. After exhausting my options -- the No Cry Sleep Solution, Baby Whisperer, etc. I knew what we had to do ... let her "cry it out" a little. We're very blessed to have many friends and neighbors that really encouraged us to just tough it out for a couple of days to solve our sleep issues once and for all. So out of desperation this week, we did it! Well, I guess I did it, since Aaron was actually away for the first 4 nights. Lucky man! We reluctantly let our little angel baby CRY and try to figure out this whole falling asleep thing on her own. Gut wrenching as it was, it actually WORKED like a miracle! Seriously, I stayed up about 5 hours past when she went to bed waiting for the hourly wake up where she freaks out because she was no longer being held, cuddled, yadda yadda yadda. Well it just didn't happen! She slept 13 hours that night, waking just once 10 hours into it because, hey, a girl's gotta' eat! I was totally convinced she would hate me in the morning. But no, she awoke all smiles and coos. She is like a whole new baby. This kid was cheerful before, but now she is downright giddy for about 90% of her waking life. We've been able to duplicate this blessed success every night since with less & less fuss. She welcomes being able to just unwind and rest in her bed with her binky & lovey for naps & bedtime. We are actually going to a concert this week without worry that she'll make my Mom miserable. So glad I didn't waste $75 on those tickets!
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THANK YOU EVERYBODY THAT CARED ENOUGH about our little family to push us a little! You must've known how much we needed some serious encouragement in this department.
You may have just saved our marriage! :)
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Please forgive the goofy, over the top tone of this post, but we are downright DRUNK on sleep this week! In fact, I think we'll be turning in now with a pretty good chance of getting at least 8 hours. I almost can't believe it.
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A few pictures of a new, well rested little munchkin.
March 13, 2008
Rollin' with our gnomie
Hailey started rolling over this week and it has been very exciting for her. The first time, it was a bit of an accident and it scared the trash out of her! By the third time, she rolled right onto her tummy and looked up at me with a huge, proud smile. A couple of days later she was rolling from her back to her tummy and back again with no worries. The pediatrician says rolling over is no longer an official milestone. But it is still very exciting for us. We like to pretend she's some sort of genius baby. I'm a total slacker mom, so the big downside for me is that I have to be all kinds of vigilant now ... bummer. Just when I thought this baby thing was getting easier.
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Aunt Kellie is a big hit with Hailey. We love Kellie because she is such a germophobe that we know her hands will always be clean.
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You may ask why I would post such obviously terrible pictures. Well, that would be because out of the literally 50 we took, these would be the best. Nonny was so cute to buy "samers" for the girls thinking we could get a few cute pictures on the one day they'd all be together. BB&B were in town so we wanted to take advantage of the opportunity. These two pics pretty much tell the story of how that went. I'm sure glad we didn't try to take them somewhere and pay for pictures or we would have been sorely disappointed! Like Mom always says "It was like putting socks on a rooster."
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Ah, the much sought after "cherry hat." I got Hailey a bunch of Gymboree's Cherry Pie line. Then I found out there was a HAT, complete with cherry stem on top. It was still too big and didn't go with these clothes, but she had red on so I just couldn't resist one picture in her cherry hat. Holly even keeps an eye out for cherry stuff for her. Now I just gotta' wait for her to grow into all of it.
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The Bebe Pod has to be the coolest invention ever.
Yeah, I think we'll keep her.
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