Catching up

So I really just post for the out of town family & friends so they can see what's up. I realized it's been over 7 months since I've done really anything here. Sorry out-of-towners! But if you're reading this, you know me. And if you know me, you know how insane things have been for us and you'll hopefully excuse the slacking. We'll post something every few days or so to share pics & updates from the winter / spring. And if we're lucky we'll stay up to date after that!

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The winter was totally devoted to raising a high-maintenance toddler and snowboarding to take a break from the aforementioned toddler.

Both activities really got in the way of taking many good pictures.

I ran the Salt Lake 10-miler over the winter to get ready for the 1/2 marathon to get ready for the Ragnar to get ready for ... who knows? I'm taking suggestions. Pics from those races will be coming. Until then, here's the 10-miler!

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It was technically spring down in the valley. But apparently not in the mountains. We ran from East Canyon up & over Emigration Canyon to the This is the Place park. The crazy weather caused a lot of people to drop out so it ended up being quite the tiny/cozy little run. I love, love LOVE to run in the cold. But running on crunchy ice in a driving snow? A new experience for me. There was something really inspiring about not only overcoming the distance and the terrain, but also the elements. VERY cool.

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Love those butterflies right before!

We're off & we're happy!

So here's the valley's answer to that weather just a mere week later. At this point, this was the longest run I'd ever done -- nearly 13 miles in preparation for my first 1/2 marathon. My dear Aaron left me on the side of the road in the canyon and was like "see ya' in a couple hours ... hopefully." He said afterwards that it really weirded him out doing that. I called him about a block from our house and made him stand on the lawn and wait for me. I really needed to turn that corner and see a friendly face.

Yes, I am crying here. And no, I'm not embarrassed about it! :)

Stay tuned for some pics of Easter & all sorts of Spring/Summer fun!

Turkey Trot

In the spirit of trying to improve the frequency of my updates, here's a quick one. Aside from the food (of course!) this was the highlight of my Thanksgiving. I got to run a lovely race with some lovely friends and about a thousand other crazies. Good times! But my 11 min. mile in the middle woke me up to the fact that I need to get my speed on before the psycho race this summer! June is going to be here before I know it and spending my winter buckled into a snowboard isn't going to improve the ol' running skills. I gotta' re-think the priorities.

Oh, that's right! We have a blog!

We've had a very fun fall. Apparently too fun as we've been too busy to share updates with y'all. Hailey has gained quite a bit of mobility since I last posted which has contributed to my not having any computer time.

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Here are a few little highlights--

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Hailey "ran" in her first organized race via her jogging stroller. This was the Intermountain Donor Services 5K. It was such a fun experience. Poppa got to mingle with other transplant recipients and their families.

P.S. Please, please be an organ donor & let your family know about it!

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Another race. My first post-baby 10K with my little munchkin cheering from the sidelines. Aaron took this "lovely" pic immediately post-run. So you'll have to excuse the forced red-faced, exhausted grin and truly unattractive hair! Man, this felt great though! The course was pretty hill-y and I honestly did not believe I could do this without walking a single step. I used to look at my runner friends and think they were both crazy and amazing. I vividly remember my dear friend Rachel talking about running 6 miles on a Saturday and being completely in awe of her. I thought I could never do anything like that. (My squatty little frame is not built for speed and I considered myself a little wimpy.) I never believed that I would later be running farther than that and actually enjoying it.

The entire Brighton cheer squad showed up to run this race, complete in uniforms. Most of these darling little muffins were ahead of me and it was downright depressing for me. It was like figuratively AND literally trying to keep up with my former self. All this while trying to recover mentally, emotionally and physically from the whole new mom thing which had been so trying for me. Well in grand Amy tradition, I just kept at it -- slow and steady -- and by the 3rd mile they had all dropped out. I finished this small race happily awhile later feeling I'd overcome so much of what I'd been struggling with. I look back now and a simple 10K was such a small victory. But so much has changed in my life over the last several years that this was significant for me ... as a new runner ... a new mom ... a new person.

I am STILL in awe of my incredible runner friend! I just understand it now and I'm willing to try to keep up with her.

Here's Hailey with Aaron at a family party nearly winning a limbo contest. In case you can't tell, he is Aladdin and she is Abu. I was Princess Jasmine, but I'll spare you the pictures of that disgrace! Aaron picked the costumes this year. I guess next year is my turn. I'd better start entertaining some ideas to out-do him.

Round 2 of costumes for Hailey. This is the one she wore to her Kindermusik class on Halloween. Of course she also wanted to keep the hat on throughout the grocery store & other errands which made for some comments.

First trip to the zoo for the munchkin on her birthday. Aunt Holly also came with cousins Elizabeth and Anna. Hailey was in HEAVEN. She just loves animals so it was a pretty perfect birthday for her. Warm, sunny, just all around pleasant.

Maybe you're wondering what the heck Aaron is doing. Well, he has just been working quite a bit as usual. But things are starting to slow for the holidays, which he loves! I suppose we'll be using the slow time to acquire some more properties for ourselves as usual. So I guess there isn't really a "slow" time for him. He was able to take a couple of really fun "MAN-cations" this fall though. He went for a summer's last hurah to Lake Powell with his good friend Brandon and some other guys I don't know. He also went for a jam-packed golf weekend in St. George with the Fransons + like 20 more guys I don't know. I'd love to tell you more about these trips. But when Aaron talks about 63 holes of premium golf in barely 2 days, my eyes just glaze over. I like golf ... but not THAT much! I'm more of Fore Lakes kinda' girl.

Tagged. I'm it!

The last 3 things I purchased:

- Del Taco lunch for Aaron ... gross!

- An outfit for Miss Hailey

- A haircut .

The last 3 songs I downloaded: Honestly, don't remember. It's been that long! .

The last 3 places I visited:

- My parents

- Bear Lake

- Cabin w/ Oakesons .

My 3 favorite movies:

- Waiting for Guffman

- Soapdish or maybe Clueless?

- American Beauty What varied taste I apparently have! .

My 3 favorite possessions:

- Rental Props ... anything that brings in the $$$$ :)

- The 4-wheelers/Dirt Bikes ... now I just need some time to ride!

- iPod .

3 things I can't live without:

- My hubby!

- My Hailey!

- Exercise .

My 3 wishes:

- Happiness and health for my family

- Peace

- More endurance ... physical and spiritual .

3 things I haven't done yet:

- Visited somewhere they don't speak English

- Eaten sushi, seriously.

- Snowboarding .

My 3 favorite dishes:

- Any kind of fabulous baked something with chocolate in it

- Most of the "grilled cheese of the day" at Citrus Grill -- esp. Apple & Brie

- Buca salad with x-tra dressing .

3 celebs I'd want to hang out with:

- James Taylor

- Nicholas Cage

- David Sedaris, especially if he brought his sister Amy! .

3 things that freak me out:

- Of course, anything happening to my sweet husband & baby!

-Bad teeth

- Socialism .

3 things I'm good at:

- Trivia games

- Entertaining a 9 month old

- Apparently making some quality milk ... Have you seen the size of my kid!? .

3 things I'm currently coveting:

- My old body

- Babies who take really long naps

- A bigger place / Some great dirt to build on about 10 steps from this place. .

3 bloggers I tag

- Kellie

- Crumps

- Holly

30+ hours of agony for a lifetime of glory?

So it looks like I'll actually be DOING this ... not alone, of course, but with 11 other women who are apparently just as crazy and EXCITED as I am! So I'm up mapping runs for this week & stressing over my slow times from last week (as I came down with a gross cold!) & thinking about the reality of this race. So I check the website and see that there are teams that took 36 hours to run this last time. Probably teams of regular moms like ours! :) And I ask myself if 36 hours of agony (with some fun sprinkled in) is worth it? Worth what? What will I even get out of this? Then I realize that I'll be getting exactly what I need out of this. So some of you know that I have been in a real funk. The transition from driven, young, childless money-maker to mostly-stay-at-home-mommy has not been kind to me emotionally. I've felt "ruined" ... and not just the physical ruin that comes from birthing a 10 lb. baby! Physically you can -- contrary to my greatest fears -- come back from that. This idea of being "ruined" ... I don't know if that makes any sense to you mommies out there? Don't get me wrong. I am crazy in love with my little Lulu! That's not the issue here at all. The issue has been the huge shift from my former life, my former self to this strange new existence where Dear Husband and I are not first ... or even in the top 5 anymore. That plus the fact that I don't even really get to pee when I'd like to. I have a hard time enjoying the few things that are supposed to be just for me. There's always something more pressing now. Even our business has taken on a new urgency that has really been sucking the joy out of it. These are the things that I'm sure people try to tell you about, but you just aren't ready to understand before the bomb drops. So normally I'm able to just man up & get 'r done ... a quality for which I'm grateful to my Torgersen roots! But one night in particular I was having quite the pity party. Poor husband had to listen to my list of sorrows including: Not feeling I'm progressing/working toward something for ME, boredom with my workouts not working out (I work so hard & after 8 months I still have a few lbs to go!), feeling disconnected and lonely, need some mommy friends but nobody's in my boat b/c I'm such an old first-timer, blah blah blah. Anyhow, I was really feeling particularly crappy when the phone rings & Aaron says it's for me. It's a favorite neighbor friend asking me if I want to run in this RIDICULOUS race in the spring with yet another favorite neighbor friend. Before I can even think about all the reasons I shouldn't do this, a big "YES" comes out of my mouth & it feels GREAT! Here's where it gets embarrassing, but whatever! I hang up the phone so she can find 9 other crazies to make a full team and ... BIG TEARS. You see, if you reference my above list of new-mommy gripes, you'll see that this one event pretty much addressed all of my issues. I get to spend the better part of the next several months training and focusing on something that I LOVE, for ME. And I get to do it with people I love, in a neighborhood I love. And I'll get to achieve something that I didn't think I could ever do. Something that I could never do alone, but I would do anywhere, anytime with the support of 11 other tough chicks! So yeah, I know it's just a race. But for me it was evidence of a Heavenly Father who was aware of my struggle and loved me enough to address it in a most perfect way ... with a CHALLENGE! Now challenge part 2 which I gave to Aaron in no uncertain terms last week. "Hey! No knockin' me up until after June! I am not running this thing pregnant!"

"Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other." --Ed Howe

With the new arrival of B&B's sweet little Braden, I was astonished at how tiny and delicate he was. Hailey was never that small -- at least on the outside. But it got me to thinking about how Hailey will never be this small again ...

... which is wonderful ... and makes me painfully sad all at the same time.

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But then again, I may never be as small again either which is almost as painful!

We're still here

Just wanted the friends & fam to know we're still here. It's just been a crazy few weeks. I realized that I have not slept more than 4 consecutive hours since September and it has been seriously impairing my ability to ... well, to do ANYTHING! It's been pretty much survival mode. So that has meant #1-Whatever Hailey needs #2-The Gym. Pathetic!

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Hailey seemed to be doing a lot better in the sleep department, and then it all just started falling apart. We are big "Babywise" fans and follow it well ... except the part about getting her to sleep on her own. The sound of her little cry is like a dagger in my heart! I was trying everything ... and I mean everything to get the results we desperately needed without causing her even the smallest amount of frustration. After exhausting my options -- the No Cry Sleep Solution, Baby Whisperer, etc. I knew what we had to do ... let her "cry it out" a little. We're very blessed to have many friends and neighbors that really encouraged us to just tough it out for a couple of days to solve our sleep issues once and for all. So out of desperation this week, we did it! Well, I guess I did it, since Aaron was actually away for the first 4 nights. Lucky man! We reluctantly let our little angel baby CRY and try to figure out this whole falling asleep thing on her own. Gut wrenching as it was, it actually WORKED like a miracle! Seriously, I stayed up about 5 hours past when she went to bed waiting for the hourly wake up where she freaks out because she was no longer being held, cuddled, yadda yadda yadda. Well it just didn't happen! She slept 13 hours that night, waking just once 10 hours into it because, hey, a girl's gotta' eat! I was totally convinced she would hate me in the morning. But no, she awoke all smiles and coos. She is like a whole new baby. This kid was cheerful before, but now she is downright giddy for about 90% of her waking life. We've been able to duplicate this blessed success every night since with less & less fuss. She welcomes being able to just unwind and rest in her bed with her binky & lovey for naps & bedtime. We are actually going to a concert this week without worry that she'll make my Mom miserable. So glad I didn't waste $75 on those tickets!

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THANK YOU EVERYBODY THAT CARED ENOUGH about our little family to push us a little! You must've known how much we needed some serious encouragement in this department.

You may have just saved our marriage! :)

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Please forgive the goofy, over the top tone of this post, but we are downright DRUNK on sleep this week! In fact, I think we'll be turning in now with a pretty good chance of getting at least 8 hours. I almost can't believe it.

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A few pictures of a new, well rested little munchkin.

Rollin' with our gnomie

Hailey started rolling over this week and it has been very exciting for her. The first time, it was a bit of an accident and it scared the trash out of her! By the third time, she rolled right onto her tummy and looked up at me with a huge, proud smile. A couple of days later she was rolling from her back to her tummy and back again with no worries. The pediatrician says rolling over is no longer an official milestone. But it is still very exciting for us. We like to pretend she's some sort of genius baby. I'm a total slacker mom, so the big downside for me is that I have to be all kinds of vigilant now ... bummer. Just when I thought this baby thing was getting easier.

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Aunt Kellie is a big hit with Hailey. We love Kellie because she is such a germophobe that we know her hands will always be clean.

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You may ask why I would post such obviously terrible pictures. Well, that would be because out of the literally 50 we took, these would be the best. Nonny was so cute to buy "samers" for the girls thinking we could get a few cute pictures on the one day they'd all be together. BB&B were in town so we wanted to take advantage of the opportunity. These two pics pretty much tell the story of how that went. I'm sure glad we didn't try to take them somewhere and pay for pictures or we would have been sorely disappointed! Like Mom always says "It was like putting socks on a rooster."

. Ah, the much sought after "cherry hat." I got Hailey a bunch of Gymboree's Cherry Pie line. Then I found out there was a HAT, complete with cherry stem on top. It was still too big and didn't go with these clothes, but she had red on so I just couldn't resist one picture in her cherry hat. Holly even keeps an eye out for cherry stuff for her. Now I just gotta' wait for her to grow into all of it. .

The Bebe Pod has to be the coolest invention ever. Yeah, I think we'll keep her.

Some pictures just for fun

Okay, so this one is of cousin Elizabeth. I loved it because I was trying to take a cute picture of her when she was on the computer. I asked her to look at me and she told me "I'm too busy!" and waved me away. There was just something about a 3 year old "too busy" on the computer that was so adorable to me. Apparently we chose the right mobile. Hailey digs it. P.S. These cute jammies came from Aunt Holly. She introduced me to Crazy8 and we're lovin' it! She wakes up so happy and it lasts for all of 30 minutes until she realizes she is wet, dirty, hungry, bored or just tired again! Whaaazzzzuuuppp!? Daddy sure knows how to dress a little lady. You just buy clothes fit for a 45 year old divorcee with a Harley & get them really small right? She could barely move for the sake of fashion in her lovely leather biker jacket. She is such a good sport.

Per your request

We've had some requests for more pics of our little princess. Today I actually have about 2 minutes to throw a few of them out there for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy. I know WE sure do! . Even when she's mad, she's pretty sweet. It was a fun 1st Christmas.

Back by popular demand ...

... PHYSICAL ACTIVITY! Ah, exercise my old friend. I'm officially back in the gym and I'm not sure I have the words to express the complete joy I felt today as I set foot in and eventually back out of there. I cannot wait to go again tomorrow, and pretty much every day! I AM BACK ... well, still technically about 25 lbs. from being "back" but at least "back" in the sense that I've regained another piece of myself, ahhhhh. It's going to be a real hoot losing baby weight during the holidays, if the word "hoot" is a synonym for almost guaranteed failure. :) Wish me luck!

All we need is just a little patience

Hopefully the Guns-N-Roses fans out there appreciated the title of this post.

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Seriously though, a little patience is just what we needed. We've hit the 6 week mark & things are going much more smoothly. Hailey is getting into a routine, sleeping a little better and is generally more enjoyable when she is awake. Maybe it's the fact that I feel so much better or that we're sleeping a little more that makes her appear that much more pleasant to us during the waking hours. Maybe it's her beautiful social smile and general progress as a person. Who knows? We're just glad things are better. I don't know how long we could have existed in that whole first month environment.

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I am finally mailing her birth annoucements off, but for those of you that cannot wait ... more pictures for your viewing pleasure ... and our bragging pleasure.

A little scrapbook of Hailey's week

Okay, we know the reason most of you are checking the blog is for new pictures of her highness. Maybe not. Maybe you just really care a bunch about what's going on with us. But here are pictures of her anyhow since she is much more attractive and charming than we are. Plus we figure that since we like staring at her all day, there might be some other folks out there that would like to do the same. She changes so much everyday so we'll try to post pics more often. It's tough since she refuses to be set down for much longer than it takes for her mom to pee. In fact, she is physically attached to me as I type this. Thank heavens for the inventors of Hotslings and the Baby Bjorn! Once she reached 12 lbs., carrying her unassisted for hours on end was out of the question!

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We study her closely waiting for her to resemble one of us.

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This picture looks like she should belong to one of the Beastie Boys or something.

She almost always has this look of concern on her face. I think she figured out the bum deal she got when they were giving out parents & now she's contemplating how to deal with our complete ineptitude. Of all the qualities I desire for her, I think PATIENCE falls pretty high on the list.

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I don't know why I'm posting such a bad picture of her except to tell you that we call this look the "Fat, angry marionette." I'm going to try sleeping like this tonight. Looks fun!

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And now the moment we've all been waiting for (Aaron & Amy included) --

She's AWAKE and HAPPY! We just get very small glimpses of this each day but it keeps us plugging along.

So I've discovered the dirty little secret of motherhood ... something that your "good mom" girlfriends don't like to talk much about before you have your own kids. It's the fact that the first few weeks with a new baby are so tough and lonely and unrewarding ... generally miserable ... not at all the way they make things look on the Johnson & Johnson commercials!

It has been really difficult to know if I am having any "success" at all. I wake up every morning to complete chaos in the household, a baby that's covered in spit-up, pee, you name it despite the fact that I just bathed and changed her. After several days of that, you can see how I might feel a tad hopeless.

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Anyhoo, I was feeling like a particular failure today when suddenly I realized that my only real job right now is to keep this little angel alive and thriving. If she is alive and relatively well fed at the end of the day, I have accomplished something. Looking at the picture below, I saw distinct ROLLS OF FAT on her sweet little arms as well as MULTIPLE CHINS below her tiny cherubic face. Then I made Aaron weigh her to confirm that she has indeed gained 1/2 a pound over the past couple of days. And for the first time so far, I felt like I've done by job ... at least one of them ... the important one anyway. So until there is more expected of me (like helping her get a decent score on the ACT or behave appropriately in a restaurant) I will count this as VICTORY for our little family, however small it may be.

It's Hailey's world. We just live in it.

Yeah, we know we’ve been slow to update & post some pics of her highness. But I’m going to play the “just gave birth” card for a free pass on this one. Anyone who has created, birthed and then attempted recovering from birthing a 10-pound baby will give you the list of reasons why I'm justified in loafing around for 2 weeks before posting anything. I think all of that combined with her refusal to recognize night as the time when the Oakeson family SLEEPS has taken its toll. Things are looking up a little now and I am starting to believe that it won't be like this forever. Aaron & I just may be able to get back to our crazy work schedules including his regular 14 hour workday. And I just might set foot back in the beloved gym sometime before Christmas! Here's hoping!

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So here is what you all really want -- pictures of our benevolent dictator. Sorry she is sleeping in all of them. But she has 3 main activities right now: Eating, Sleeping, Pooping. We didn't think you wanted to see her eating or pooping so this is what you get.

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Wakin' up is hard to do

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Being boss of the house is EXHAUSTING! .

I don't know what I was thinking with this hat. Oh, I know! I was thinking she might be cold & hats on babies are so cute. But looking back, this is kindof a stupid hat. She looks like a baby pope or something.

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It's all good in da' hood.

Hailey and Dad are best friends! They love their naps!

So much fun it's SCARY!

This week was the 5th annual Family & Friends Halloween party. Since this is pretty much all about the kids, we posted a few of the kids' pics for your viewing pleasure.

Owen was our pick for brightest/funniest kid of the evening.

Here he is being particularly cheesy!

Glad to see a costume from Aaron's childhood is getting a new lease on life.

The pinata was a big HIT! he he

What an appropriate costume for this activity. Go Dean!

Looks like Mandy was having a great time!

The perfect Natalie moment. Later on, she did an awesome Karaoke performance of "I'm a Believer" complete with a few dance moves.

BUDDIES!

Aw, Sydnee! You just want to squish her little face, don't ya?

Overall, the party was pretty fabulous! The food was great, too. In fact, if you want any more chili, talk to Mark & Marion. We think they have about 10 quarts left and it's really good! I'm sure they'd be more than happy to give you some.